Should have taken a lesson from the Balkans!

Look at this crackpot idea that we had in 1920 of abolishing individual

nations and putting them together under the Yugoslav flag.

It led to disaster and the EU has sadly made the same tragic mistake.

It is only now becoming obvious to everyone.

Except the U.K. who didn't want any part of it in the first place.

and Germany who is the only nation who has prospered from the Eurozone.

belongs in this topic....the Eurozone has long qualified for joke status:roll:

----------------------

BEFORE MARRIAGE:

Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!

Wife - Do you want me to leave?

Husband - No! Don't even think about it.

Wife - Do you love me?

Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!

Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?

Husband - No! Why are you even asking?

Wife - Will you kiss me?

Husband - Every chance I get!

Wife - Will you hit me?

Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!

Wife - Can I trust you?

Husband - Yes.

Wife - Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.

--------------------------------

FOR fans of X-Factor:

Cowell wants body frozen after death'

why wait?

----------------------------------

British rescue operation.

Use stealth tactics to get into the enemy building.

Use silenced weapons and gas to disable combatants and avoid detection.

Rescue victim quickly and without taking any casualties.

American rescue operation.

Roll up in Hummers, because they are cool. Throw grenades at building

until everyone inside is dead, because explosions are f''ing cool.

Drag corpse of person you just 'rescued' out of the rubble.

stick American flag in the remains then the survivors make a high five.

--------------------------------------

Prince Charles decided to take up jogging.

Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

"One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout from the curb.

"No! Five pounds!" He would fire back, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.

He'd run by and she'd yell, "One hundred and fifty pounds!"

He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"

One day, Camilla decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog.

As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Prince Charles realised she'd bark her 150 pound offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.

He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, he became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there was the hooker.

He tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from her corner, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard?!"

------------------------------------------------------

mistake on the BBC News online.

The headline said that Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall had broken a leg but

the photo alongside was of Shergar.

---------------------------------------------------------

Scientists have shown

that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year.

If you do the maths, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about

10 metres from the earths surface.

This would explain the death of the dinosaurs. The tall ones, anyway.

------------------------------------------------

Medal of Honour has been described as the most controversial game ever

because there's a level where you have to shoot Yanks in Afghanistan.

So, you play as an American then?

------------------------------------------------

Afghans are unable to understand or comprehend such a violent massacre.

A lone gunman running around executing people for no reason.

Americans learn about this in school.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him

continually go through airport security for the rest of his life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think its great that female pilots are dropping bombs on the Taliban.

It would be even better if they dropped pamphlets that said:

'This bomb was brought to you by Jenny,

who is naked and enjoys drinking, smoking and premarital sex.'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SKY NEWS

David Richards,40, from Caerwys snaps photo of UFO in back garden!

Well sir if you say it's a UFO then you have identified it making it an FO,

if it's landed in your back garden it's not flying thus making it an O.

So David, you have succesfully managed to take a photo of an object in your garden.

whether or not you liked metal, the found of Slayer will be missed.

he wrote some of their best stuff.

Jeff's liver failure was a result of :

"necrotising fasciitis" a flesh eating disease as a reult of a spider bite.:shock:

it was two years ago he got the bite. In the past I never worried about spiders,

the bites even of widows can be a bit annoying but never made me sick.

this is something though that gives you pause.

don't know what kind of spider because Jeff was having a couple beers while

kicking back in his hot tub one day when he noticed the bite afterwards.

he checked into the doctor when his arm got hot and the skin started corrupting.

the nurse what it was right away.

many people haven't noticed that they weren't on stage as much the last year or two.

because when the musicians get older the fan base often moves on.

Slayer has been playing for more than 30 years and the band member are nearing 50.

Jeff was 49 which while not old for this day and age, he should have had years left.

it is considered old for a rocker.

for May Day it is only appropriate to sing ">The Internationale

and hoist a beer to the memory of Joe Hall and the Wobblies.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Industrial_Workers_of_the_World

My collection includes some English coins from the World War 2 era and before.

I have the farthings, halfpenny, penny, tuppence, groat, and a sixpence.

half crown and shilling.

I believe a thrupence is the only coin from the '38 to '45 time frame I don't have.

one of my great uncles worked with the RAF years before I did and brought back

some interesting stories and a bag of coins.

I have some French and Morroccan vichy scrip and Japanese rupees issued for

occupied Malaysia.

and Iranian bills from the time time of last two Shahs.

also Spanish, Mexican, Argentine, and Canadian.

I still have some Mexican, Canadian, Filipino, Australian, and Korean money.

lots of Canadian coins....I used them in coke machines when I was a kid

but I'm only listing the old things that are in my collection.

I was playing a video game on my PC.

when all of a sudden the screen when black for a second.

I'm not worried because it does that from time to time in some games.

But then.....the dang thing goes to the desktop and starts go log off!

I forgot that this morning is the weekly scheduled time for my computer to install updates,

SO it simply turned off my game while I was playing because it was time to install the updates

that had been saved up for the week.

AARRRGGHH!!!! I set it up for 3 in the morning on Wednesday so this won't happen.

and then I can't sleep so I start playing a couple games and get caught in the middle :lol:

it is funny when I think about it......who plays video games at 2 or 3 in the morning?

I play all night some times but the one hour a week that I can't use my computer...

I can't remember to use a console:P

I list this as humour but at the time it was not funny

------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw this meme and remembered a first date I once took out dancing.

who a couple of days showed up at my apartment...

and walked in with a couple of suitcases

took them to my bedroom and unpacked.

I started to talk .......

and she said thank you for something or other.

I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along.

but she was all sweet and normal when my mom visited.

so of course my mom loved her and I had to be careful -

my mom hated most of the girls I liked.

I came acrosss Crazy girlfriend mems and was reminded of someone from my past.

for those who can't see the photos here are the captions on them

Each on shows the overly attached girl photo with the following captions:

1> Great first date.

My Uhaul's parked outside.

2> I changed my anme to yours

We can get married tomorrow

3> You love me

but you just don't know it yet

4> I don't think of us as "Not yet engaged"

I think of us as "unofficially married"

5> I'm so glad you stayed

are the ropes too tight?

6> I remember when I first met you.

It was two years before you met me.

With the New ToU I thought you guys and some of the girls might like to see

some of my favourite cameltoe photos:

this is the prettiest cameltoe.

that is a nice camel but I've seen more attractive toes

looks like the toes are still rather sore from having the camel added.

OK so this is cameltoes tattoos, you don't really think I'd display the other at GS :o

Should be an excellent film.

considering the awards already won I predict Oscar for Blancanieves.;)

one of the stars,Maribel Verdú, is an actress I already like.

I remember her especially from Y Tu Mamá También

which was made made a few years age, about the Vicente Fox rose to power.

and in fact that is part of the story, one of the rare times that the PRI lost an election

is an important part of modern Mexican-North American history.

You don't see her around much on Gamespot because she is working long hours.

selling perfume and also running a blog about her expertise regarding cosmetics.

visit the blog of my GS daughter and check it out.

http://sensuella2.blogspot.com/

I think most of us have blogspot or yahoo to follow with.

Chrome or Firefox have google/bing translator options for the page if you need help.

Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?

A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.

Q. How do you make you boyfriend scream durin sex?

A. Call him and tell him!

Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.

A. The thief was spending less then his wife.

Q. How do men sort out their laundry?

A. Dirty, and dirty but wearable.

Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?

A. Would you girls go have them if they were called ***** scrapes?

Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

A. Brothel sprouts.

Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?

A. He's smoking a cigarette.

Q. How do you know when you are getting old?

A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Q. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?

A. He decided to stick it out for one more year!

Q. How do you get a nun pregnant?

A. Dress her up as an alter boy.

Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Q. What do a **** an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

A. Men always miss them.

Q. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

A. Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

Q. Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?

A. She knows she's given her last blow job.

Q. What do you call an adolescent rabbit?

A. A pubic hare.

Q. Did you know they just discovered a new use for sheep in New Zealand?

A. Wool!

Q. What did the girl say to her swimming instructor?

A. "Will I really drown if you take your finger out?"

-------------------------------------------------------------

description of photos for those who can't see them:

1. a short poem..

Last night I saw upon the star

a little man who wasn't there

He wasn't there again today

He must've been the CIA.

2. Next to a door is this sign..

38 days since the last time someone reset this sign!

3. over a drawing of a girl talking to a guy.

"When I got used to my regular nightmares my subconcious got creative"

"Please don't wake up, I don't want to die!"

4. this is a Barbie and Ken in the bathroom.

Barbie with nothing on sitting on 'the pot' with a newspaper while

Ken is standing in his boxer shorts brushing his teeth

a plastic cat in on the floor between them licking himself.

some of the barbie/ken creations on teh internetz are rather clever.