What do Gary Oldman, Elijah Wood, and a Purple Dragon have in common? If you guessed Spyro, kudos. As I was playing through the first couple of levels of The Legend of Spyro: The Eternal Night, I kept seeing the conventions of film instead of videogames. The story of Spyro starts on a cliffhanger ending of the previous title. Spyro takes the higher road by rescuing his defeated nemesis from a giant swirly vortex of doom, much to the displeasure of his sidekick Sparx. In the following scenes, the player takes control of our large headed friend as he wanders around some ancient temple. Dragons representing powers that Spyro will gain through the rest of the game lay around the temple sleeping, as Spyro's powers are sleeping. (Allusion, wow) The symbol of each power is subtly carved into the background above each dragon. Reigning over it all is a statue of a big daddy dragon, one I assume Spyro will eventually become. So in the first scene we have a story, an expectation, and a direction of where everything is going.

The main problem with the story of Spyro through the rest of the game, is that it gets slammed in your face every three seconds with unnecessary cut scenes. Hmm, what's it called when you watch something compelling without interacting with it, oh yes, a movie! In the end, I just wanted to see Spyro the movie/cartoon instead of playing it. It's a compelling story about a young dragon, unsure of his powers, faced with real world challenges and learning all to well that he's mortal. His sidekick is an anti-conscious who masks unethical ideas with humor. Meanwhile his old enemy is out in the world, a shell of her former self, and wrestling with her evil side, who knows, she may become a repeat offender. I'd pay my ten bucks for that.

I was reading "The Week," last night and ran across an article on Sin stocks. Sin stocks apparently (do not take my word for this, I am not an investor) appreciate in value during recessions. The idea being that people struggling to survive financial crisis indulge in vices like smoking, drinking, and gambling, to take the edge off. Then I realized that all of the above vices screw you over but video games don't, MMORPG's aside. Video games companies have also traditionally been recession proof, people like to play more when times get hard. See today's news article Vivendi reports Blizzard's first billion-dollar year.

So if I invest in Video Games, am I investing in a "Sin," stock? I mean sin stock sounds kind of cool and I'd like to invest in a sin that I like and that I feel is squeezing out time for drinking, smoking, and the harmful like. I could actually be doing good by investing in my chosen sin. This sent me on an internet scavenger hunt to prove my thesis. As always I conducted extensive research by watching old episodes of "Robot Chicken" and concluded that this, (click on the image) is what video games do to other vices.

The old saying goes "close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades." With the upcoming title Worms: A Space Oddity, horseshoes are now flying solo. Ever since worms decided to stop eating dirt and start chucking explosives they have been lacking a certain, jena se qua, accuracy. Flinging a grenade at an opponent was at best an educated guess and often, a few worms down, a chance you couldn't risk. Players have traditionally had to rely on weaker direct fire weapons and air bombardments for assured hits. Good news, smart grenades have arrived. One flick of the wrist provides an exact trajectory line, depending on the usual wind, power, and angle factors. Adjust, flick and repeat until the arch lines up with your target and then let err rip, the grenade goes exactly where you want it, magic. Don't forget to keep an eye on the clock and avoid shouting "fire in the hole!" too loudly, the walls are thin people. This will inevitably stir debate with Worms traditionalists since there is a certain nostalgia for the old guess and throw tactics, but come on, after a decade of worms, I think the upgrade was in order. This is still the same time sucking casual game on crack it's always been.

See Justin Calvert's hands on Worms: A Space Oddity

It's official, girls play videogames along with 4 out of 10 Americans. Frag Dolls aside, casual games like Bejeweled and non-traditional ones like Guitar Hero have blown open the playing field. Yes girls play video games, just not my girl. My girl played video games for exactly two weeks in the 80's before her dad freaked out and confiscated the offending mechanical doohickey that conjured eight-bit black magic.

As I write this Michelle's ochre red hair is peaking up over the top of the latest issue of 'Makeup Now.' After 8 months of dating I think she's ready for it. I want in, I want this to be part of our relationship. Maybe I could start her off with a good co-op game like 'Perfect Dark Zero' so I can save her arse from overzealous bots, yea that's nerd-romantic. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Last time I handed her an X360 controller she seemed to rank it somewhere between chopsticks (which she still hasn't figured out) and a rubrics cube. Therein lies the rub.

Why is this worth fighting for? I can answer that in one word, lines. Video games have in many ways contributed to the lines starting to nip at the corners of my eyes. Two decades of smiling, laughing, and shouting have left their mark and I'm better for the wear. Video games grew up with me, they were simple when I was simple, they became mature as I matured. I can truly say that games were never "just games," as Michelle sometimes refers to them. Videogames are that childhood best friend who keeps getting cooler with age. And let's be honest, like all best friends videogames compete with my better half for attention. Michelle looks up at me wondering what I'm writing. I assure her it's about her and that she won't like it.