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Ninja-Hippo Blog

Kings of OT, volume 1

Sometimes OT can be so awesome a place to relax and rest after a hard day's work, you just have to spread the word.

Today, @the_foreign_guy unleashed another masterful thread compiling all of Off Topic's many memes which have morphed into existence over the last few years.

Find the thread here, it's still going strong. Off Topic Meme Database.

Next up, you should definitely consider following @clyde46 as he nears 19k posts, all of which bring a smile to the face with their consistently high levels of lulz.

And of course, it wouldn't be a night on Off Topic without a girl help thread. Treesmash seeks advice, pondering exactly how one goes about detecting signals of attraction from the opposite sex. Enjoyable times follow.

Until next time.

Sales Wars, part 3

And the winner is....

Bet you forgot about that doozy, didn't you? That's right the game so huge that it's managed to cement itself as the national sport of South Korea returns this year after the longest wait for an automatic smash hit sequel the industry has probably ever known. Of course, i'd be coy to say Starcraft 2 alone wins it for the PC over the likes of Halo Reach, Donkey Kong, Mario, Move and Kinect, but there's plenty more traditional, deep gaming from the world's best developers, free of motion control gimmicks or compromised gameplay.

That terribly upper-echelon gentleman stars in Sid Meier's Civlisation 5, the thinking man's game which just so happened to result in people being admitted to rehab two years earlier thanks to the addictive gameplay of its predecessors. I kid you not, friends. It's coming this year, and it'll be a blast.

"Just... one more turn."

Warcraft isn't a game any more, it's a platform all in itself, and it's getting even bigger this year with the arrival of Cataclysm, the latest expansion to the ever growing online mega-universe which juggernauts on, as ever, raking in more money for Activision Blizzard than most of the industry's best developers combined.

Of course, we can't forget the multiplatform releases. While the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 also benefit from these big-name, yearly installments, there's no questioning the pedigree of the PC in providing gamers with the best-suited platform which to experience said games in their finest forms. Crysis 2? Call of Duty: Black Ops? Superior visuals and dedicated servers await you, alongside the vastly more precise keyboard and mouse control set up. And if you're not into shooters, there's games like Fallout New Vegas, titles which require such a degree of micromanagement and inventory browsing that they're practically born and bred on your PC before being stripped down and streamlined into a simpler, clunkier console experience.

Whether we admit it or not fellow gamers, this fall is all about Move. It's all about Kinect. It's all about your grandma, and your little sister. For us, the people interested in playing deep, engaging games as we know and love them, the PC is the only machine left which has your back this year, and then some.


Of course, the name of the game here is "sales wars", and in that respect my decision to crown the PC the winner may seem a little inaccurate. After all, what with mass-sellers like Halo Reach and the ever-present problem of piracy on the PC, it's unlikely that we'll see chart-smashing sales outside of Starcraft 2 and World of Warcraft. But when it really comes down to it, sales or no sales, the PC is the platform putting out more quality games, for gamers, this holiday season than any other box on the market.

Splinter Cell Conviction - DLC Review

I'll continue my sales-wars musings soon, but first i have a rant which has morphed itself into a review to share with the universe. The target of today's assassination; the Insurgency Map Pack for Splinter Cell Conviction.

For $10 you land yourself four new maps to play in the game's co-operative online multiplayer mode via the pre-existing game modes, with the exception of 'Story'. Indeed, the new maps do not follow any narrative in line with the levels originally included with the game and feature no story-based missions of any kind. Rather, they are essentially new playgrounds in which to play the usual co-op game modes outside of the co-op campaign.

This is all well and good, and the maps will no doubt liven things up a little for hardcore fans who are sick of playing through the same environment. The positives really do end there however, after which all else that follows provokes nothing but irritation and in some cases all-out rage. Observe the following statistics of my evening's time spent with Splinter Cell Conviction:

Total number of games played: 9

Total number of failed matchmaking attempts: 47

Total number of times the matchmaking system slotted me into a game on a non-DLC map entirely different to the one i originally asked to play on, on a different difficulty level and in a different game mode altogether: 19

Total number of pages of 'Metro 2033', the book i am currently reading, that i managed to read while waiting to be matched up into a game: 72

I've spent damn near five hours playing this game and have just nine successful games to show for it. This being a game where it takes no longer than seven minutes usually to finish a match, of course. Frankly, that's just absurd.

I ask you Ubi Soft, what on earth is the point in 'matchmaking' in a game like Splinter Cell? It's a two player game after all, and the maddenning lengths of time it takes to go through the matchmaking process is all in the name of connecting you to ONE other player. It's just not acceptable to be as slow, clunky and flat-out broken as it currently is. A simple lobby list would be so much more effective, and likely easier to implement to boot.

As it stands, an already slow and undesirable matchmaking system has been utterly broken by the inclusion of DLC, which has split the slim audience and practically tripled the amount of time you should expect to get yourself into a game. Once in it, you'll likely find it's not even on a DLC map, and that all of the options you requested have been completely ignored in favor of just sticking you into any match at all before you quit out of boredom.

Rage-inducing issue number two:

Achievements. A game which was already bad for implementing what every other developer has been able to pull off without the slightest issue somehow gets worse after an update designed to improve it. Those unlucky souls who beat the game on realistic difficulty once, twice or even more times only to never get their achievment to unlock will find the problem fixed, though only if you re-do the campaign all the way through on the hardest difficulty setting the game has to offer *again*.

And what about those of us who thankfully got it to unlock the first time? Those of us who braved all of the game's challenges in the name of securing that elusive 'game complete' statistic, that ever-rare 1000GS? Well, i was surprised a few days ago to visit my Xbox 360 profile only to find that the number of 'complete' games had somehow been reduced by one. Upon further investigation i notice that the full 1000/1000 score on Splinter Cell Conviction was no longer counting as a completion, because the DLC had added more achievements. Even though i didn't even own the DLC at that point, it still thought it both fair and necessary to remove that game from my completed list.

This seems a rather underhand move at twisting the arm of the achievement obsessed out there into purchasing the DLC and, at the very least, is a kick in the teeth to those who actually invested the time to beat the game's difficult and numerous achievements for that elusive 1000/1000 points only to have your accomplishment taken away from you.

But of course, that's a petty complaint. It gets much worse. Upon downloading the DLC and playing my handful of games, i found that i unlocked all but one of the game's additional achievements literally without trying; i hadn't even read the descriptions before i found myself with a solitary challenge left before me. Interesting and well-thought-out pieces of player investment these are not.


And that brings us to the final achievement, requiring the player to beat the final stage of one of the new maps in co-operative mode on realistic difficulty, shooting all of the explosives on the level to unlock the achievement and re-gain what was rightfully yours. Four times i have done this. Four times i have gone right back to the start of the level and fought my way through it, all the way to the end, on the hardest difficulty, and not once has the achievement unlocked as it should. A quick search on YouTube reveals more frustrated gamers, some of whom have completed the level dozens of times to no avail. There's simply no excuse, Ubi Soft.

I for one value my general happiness over a completed game, and after the fourth unsuccessful effort, decided i'd rather trade the game in for something which won't make my blood boil and likely not buy another Ubi Soft game for the considerable future.

Verdict: Avoid.

Sales Wars part 2

I'm a gamer, not a shareholder, but even still i - like many others - cant help but take an interest in the monthly goings on for each platform holder in the retail world. Who's coming out on top? Who's closing the gap? Which machine seems to have stalled? Interesting enough the face of the industry hasn't changed much over the last couple of years, with the Wii and DS dominating month after month with the Xbox 360 a distant second and the Playstation 3 a much less distant third. Precious few times is this hierarchy ever broken up, however 2010's holiday season looks poised to offer up some very interesting results during gaming's most profitable quarter.

Microsoft

The arrival of the new Xbox 360 will surely give Microsoft some boost this year thanks to its ability to set aside most consumer fears which kept them from investing in the original machine. It's quieter, it's wireless out of the box and y'know... it's really shiny!

Of course i'd be remiss to ignore the impact of Kinect which, while welcomed with a largely negative response at E3, will surely drum up some interest in the casual and non-gamer markets much like Nintendo's Wii did when it first launched. Whether we like the device or not, it offers the same brand of simple, goofy fun that will sell in droves with the right marketing and the right games at launch. To dismiss it would be elitist, but that doesn't mean we have to like it. After all, Microsoft hasn't shown much in the way of games we could even consider even slightly aimed at the hardcore audience which uses Kinect in any meaningful, interesting way.

Of course, thankfully, there are some traditional games to enjoy this fall on our xbox 360s, and some of the best in the industry to boot.

Halo Reach isn't so much releasing this year as it is crashing into earth like a comet from the deeps of space, if Halo 2 and 3's respective launches are anything to go buy. Expect massive ad campaigns, Halo-themed Mountain Dew, midnight releases and enough day-one sales to turn around the USA's budget deficit.

Aside from the hype however, Halo time and time again has offered quality to such an extent that the fanfare becomes justified, and Reach appears no different. With more content than any Halo game to come before it (and that's really saying something) along with a number of fresh new additions to the series like space combat and armour abilities, Reach looks set to last out the rest of this console generation as the definitive online multiplayer experience.

Throw in the usual yearly additions, much like we saw earlier with the PS3, and toss Fable 3 into the mix as an added bonus and 360 owners should have no shortage of purchases to make this coming holiday season.


Nintendo

Forget Wii Music and Wii Sports Resort; Nintendo are back! Headlining their winter lineup are two of the most beloved, iconic figures in gaming in the form of Donkey Kong and Kirby, both featuring in their own new, unique and distinctly nintendo adventures.

Donkey King has finally returned to his simple but infinitely enjoyable platformer origins, tossing out the bongos and the kart racing to revert back to the simplest, most enjoyable form of entertainment on consoles. If Mario Galaxy is anything to go by, simple really is beautiful, and with Retro Studios at the helm i see no reason why Donkey Kong's return to platform hopping action wont satisfy on all fronts this year.


Add Kirby into the mix for an interesting tag team and things only get better. While once again returning to the traditional 2D platforming formula, Kirby's Epic Yarn adds a unique and interesting spin on the genre in the form of Kirby's fabric-based universe in which the player can manipulate the level outside of merely jumping from one section to another.

Both games show a willingness on Nintendo's part to forgo the cheap production costs and high profits of casual-focused games in favor of making something which its core audience will not only enjoy but remember for years to come. It's a refreshing and much welcomed return to Nintendo's roots which, while unlikely to compete with Halo and Call of Duty in the sales wars this year, will much more likely leave a long and lasting impression on the jaded gamers who take the time to enjoy them than either of those games possibly can.

Continued later in the week.

Sales Wars - this generation just got interesting

I'm a gamer, not a shareholder, but even still i - like many others - cant help but take an interest in the monthly goings on for each platform holder in the retail world. Who's coming out on top? Who's closing the gap? Which machine seems to have stalled? Interesting enough the face of the industry hasn't changed much over the last couple of years, with the Wii and DS dominating month after month with the Xbox 360 a distant second and the Playstation 3 a much less distant third. Precious few times is this hierarchy ever broken up, however 2010's holiday season looks poised to offer up some very interesting results during gaming's most profitable quarter.

With that said, let's take a look at what the big three is offering gamers and non-gamers alike this coming winter:

Sony

Sony's biggest launch of the year is coming sooner than we think in the form of Move, the company's own take on the motion control craze. While it's all too easy to discount motion controls as gimmicks (and who would blame you given what we saw at E3...), there's reason enough to still be interested in what Sony has to offer.


For one, unlike Microsoft's obvious efforts to woo the casual and non-gamer crowd, Sony seem to legitimately consider their Move controller as a viable means of playing traditional, hardcore games. While we haven't seen this in action yet outside of the limited demo for Sorcery, Sony's rhetoric enough seems reliable enough to believe that Move isn't just for grandma's and kids, but for gamers too. Only time will well, but if all goes as we'd hope (does it ever?), Move might just be the awesome new way to play that we all thought the Wii would live up to.

Did i say that Move was Sony's biggest launch of the year just up there? Forgive me, i lied. I do that.

What i of course meant to say was that Gran Turismo 5 not only exists but is actually coming out, and this year to boot. Good or bad (and it'll most certainly be good), GT5 is set to inevitably fly off the shelves after torturing fans for years with its series of delays and long-term bouts of hibernation. While it may have been a while since we last experienced the immense hype and buzz that a Gran Turismo game can create, don't for a minute think this is one game to be ignored. It may have taken a lot longer than we'd have liked, but GT5 is coming and it's going to be huge.

And of course that's not all PS3 owners have to look forward to. The inevitably yearly editions are there as always, including Call of Duty Black Ops and another iteration of Assassins Creed, complemented by first party efforts like SOCOM 4 and the HD remakes of Sly and Cooper bundled together into the Sly HD collection.

Sony have their bases covered for Fall 2010; but is it enough to stack up to Microsoft and Nintendo's Christmas season offerings?

Continued later this week.

iPhone game review - Rock Band

The app store continues its gaming winning streak with Rock Band for either the iPod Touch or iPhone devices. Much like other games available on Apple's downloadable app service, it makes a bold statement about the current state of traditional handheld gaming systems by offering an experience equal to any game you might find on the PSP or Nintendo DS for a fraction of the price.

Rock Band for the iPhone is essentially Rock Band unplugged, the portable version of the popular console rhythm game from the makers of Guitar Hero. This version makes a number of improvements however, including slick and accurate touch-based gameplay as well as the inclusion of multiplayer via wi-fi or blue tooth connections.

The multiplayer action functions exactly as it does in the console versions. You can hear when your band mates mess up and bail them out with your over-drive meter, and getting together into a game is a simple affair thanks to the in-game messaging center which offers push notifications when band mates are online. Alternatively, the game integrates with Facebook to allow you to invite friends and share scores.

The game comes with 30 tracks, but there are already plenty of news ones available to download as with all Rock Band games, with more added on a regular basis. The full track list can be found at the bottom of this entry.

Overall, Rock Band for the iPhone is without a doubt the most complete version of the game outside of its home on consoles, offering more content, sharper visuals and the added bonus of multiplayer action over its first jump into the handheld market on the PSP. What's more, at only £3.99 the game is an absolute steal compared to the £29.99 RRP of PSP titles.

As far as gaming apps go, Rock Band is a great example of how the iPhone/iPod touch are viable platforms for traditional, enjoyable handheld games.

8.5/10

Full track List:

  • 30 Seconds to Mars - "Attack"
  • AFI - "Girls Not Grey"
  • All American Rejects - "Move Along"
  • Beastie Boys - "Sabotage"
  • Blink 182 - "All the Small Things"
  • Blondie - "Hanging on the Telephone"
  • Foo Fighters - "Learn to Fly"
  • Foo Fighters - "Everlong"
  • George Thorogood and the Destroyers - "Bad to the Bone"
  • Jethro Tull - "Hymn 43"
  • Joan Jett - "Bad Reputation"
  • Lynyrd Skynyrd - "Simple Man"
  • Motörhead - "Ace of Spades"
  • Rise Against - "Give It All"
  • Silversun Pickups - "Lazy Eye"
  • Steve Miller Band - "Take the Money and Run"
  • The Pixies - "Debaser"
  • The Presidents of the United States of America - "Ladybug"
  • The Go Go's - "We Got The Beat"
  • Smashing Pumpkins - "Cherub Rock"

Thanks for reading, as always. :)

iPhone re-branding

If apple wants to make maximum dollars they need to be a little less ambiguous and get straight to the point of their new product.

Current marketing campaign:

And my suggested improvements:

OnLive, we need to talk

OnLive - the hyper ambitious attempt to blast gaming out of the retail marketplace and into the clouds, is finally ready to lay its cards on the table and show the average gamer what it has to offer as a serious platform. With the beta well under way, pricing plans announced and details on the service's move into Europe cropping up, OnLive has certainly asserted itself not as a potential technology of the future but as a real platform which you should seriously consider investing in. Or so its creators might hope.

This blog takes a slightly more cautious approach to the OnLive onslaught, and while i don't want to appear too negative and stress that i genuinely hope that OnLive delivers everything we want in cloud gaming and more, i can't help but remain sceptical. For one...

Why should you choose OnLive over your PC?

Should you decide to do away with your screwdriver and your uber-cool blue LED casing and simply make do with a more modest gaming rig supplemented by an OnLive subscription, you may find yourself rather disappointed when the realisation sets in that you have voluntarily given up a gaming life of freedom and flexibility for one of rules, stipulations and limitations. Why is this? Simply put, your average gaming PC is a completely open platform. Consoles on the other hand are not, and instead demand that their users make use of their machines within the terms of an agreement which you must adhere to or, in the case of modded Xbox 360s, face permanent banning from Xbox Live or similar consequences depending on your platform of choice.

OnLive is a similarly closed platform. In short, that means no tooling around with the source code of your games. It means no modding. No custom servers. You must operate entirely within the confines of the game as it is delivered to you. All this of course, being a product of the fact that you do not actually own the games that you purchase; merely, you buy the right to play them temporarily (that being, until you decide not to continue your OnLive subscription).

This leads to a further limitation, in that your decision to invest in any significant number of games via the OnLive service effectively takes quite a gamble; your gaming collection hinges on OnLive being a success. If the company goes bankrupt and the servers are shut down, your games take the plunge too. At least when SEGA kicked the bucket we still had a Dreamcast and a sweet collection of games to enjoy for as long as we wished. No such luxuries to be found here.

Finally, i can't help but wonder what effect OnLive will have on the typical internet provider. Even the most expensive and generous of internet plans implement fair usage policies, and your gaming sessions with OnLive essentially amount to hours of streaming of HD video at a time. Anyone with a usage limit might find themselves simply incapable of making use of OnLive, and for the rest of us who enjoy only vague stipulations that our internet usage must be 'fair', we can only wait and hope that our ISP doesn't take issue with the bulk quantities of high-def video data we enjoy on a daily basis.

Why should you choose OnLive over a console?

Again, as far as this gamer can see, you shouldn't. Digital distribution is often championed as the great money saver, yet OnLive's storefront sees downloadable versions of games you wont even own after making payment for the exact same price as their physical counterparts sitting on store shelves as we speak. Of course, Steam (Valve's online service) has shown us on ample occasions with its incredible sales that there are great savings to be had in purchasing downlodable versions of our favorite games, but as far as new releases go, digital distribution has yet to live up to its promise of saving us a pretty penny. Certainly, OnLive's prices fail to impress, especially considering we could pay the same amount elsewhere and be rewarded with a physical copy of the game to keep and enjoy forever and without limitation.

But what about the console itself? In order to use the OnLive service gamers must fork out $15 a month in subscription fees, amounting to $180 for one year's worth of usage. This converting to roughly the same price that you would pay for an xbox 360 console, which would again afford you the benefit of a physical device which you can keep and enjoy without limitation. The real kicker however arises when we consider the total cost of OnLive over the length of a typical generation.

If we assert that the average 'hardcore' gamer would consider investing in a new system once every five years, a subscription to OnLive would cost you a whole $900, removing any assemblance of thrift or added value-for-money from the equation. For a similar cost, the average gamer could easily acquire all three consoles currently on the market and even a smattering of games to boot; all for the equivalent price of merely subscribing to OnLive before shelling out any further for actual games.

For me, that's simply a deal breaker.

OnLive is an interesting proposition for many gamers tired of the high system requirements of the latest big-budget releases, but the way i see it, it just can't provide enough of an incentive to make the leap from my beloved gaming shelf into the clouds.


The problem of hype

This year, i've purchased and thoroughly enjoyed Mass Effect 2, God of War 3 and Super Mario Galaxy 2 amongst several other big name titles. I'm looking forward to Halo Reach and Gran Turismo 5 and i'm keeping a keen eye on the progress of Killzone 3. All of these games have something in common, in that had they been released two generations ago they'd have been landmark, smash-hit masterpieces (ignoring the graphical advancement, obviously).

Today, they represent just one in a steady stream of the much-hyped, big-budget 'AAA' releases which hardcore gaming appears to have become attached to. Whereas in previous years we would purchase a wider variety of games, many of which would offer their own quirks and ups and downs to consider, today we are firmly rooted in buying only the 9.0+ games with the expensive marketing campaigns and the unanimous reviews re-affirming their inherent quality and worthiness.

While many of us enjoy these games and immediately add their inevitable sequels to our must-have list, the industry's shift towards maximum budget, 'media phenomenon' releases has created a number of problems for the budding games developer. For one, the smaller development studio working with the more modest budget struggles to compete not only for sales but for mind share and basic interest in their projects in a release schedule crammed with yearly iterations of Call of Duty and Guitar Hero, and regular media frenzies over the likes of Grand Theft Auto IV, or the latest Halo. Halo of course, being the most poignant of examples in so far as many could point to it as the harbinger of the big-budget, AAA hype-culture in which we currently thrive.

Halo 2 proved that a popular game coupled with a big budget and an aggressive advertising campaign can yield incredible results. Its release date was anticipated to a greater extent than most six year olds await Christmas morning, its sales were unbelievable, its reviews unanimously positive. The boost the game received by the hype surrounding it really cannot be pinned down in words alone. You had to be there. To witness the madness.

And therein lies the second problem. When other publishers followed up on Microsoft's incredible success story, gamers quickly found themselves with a Halo-like release multiple times a year. Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 launched to similar fanfare, with an advertising assault and rabid first-day sales. God of War 3 saw limited edition sodas baring its name, and Coca-Cola bottles are braced to advertise Sony's 3D wares in the coming year. It would appear that for the average gamer, every other month brings a game heralding itself as the next big thing.

And it works. Time and time again we rush out to buy these games on a tidal wave of hype which precious few seem sensible enough to take shelter from until the excitement has died down. Only then do we really examine the truth of the matter. The single player was short. The multiplayer was buggy. It's not that different from the last one. All of these acknowledgments seem utterly invisible to the eyes of the average reviewer tasked with penning an accurate description of a game which seems to have asserted itself as one of the greatest of all time before we've even picked up our controllers. Such is the power of hype.

Worryingly this may produce three decidedly negative results. One, we may find ourselves trapped in a dull cycle of yearly iterations in these recognized 'AAA' franchises, each one demanding more of our money while doing precious little to truly push the envelope of creativity and innovation in an industry once built on those two concepts. Second, the indie developer may die out entirely, relegated to the world of iPhone apps and online mini-games should our every day gaming awareness continue to ignore them. Finally, developers may find their work compromised by the pursuit of hype; the need to push their game into that AAA category, to check all the right boxes. Games need mass appeal. They need big-budget graphics. They need online multiplayer, collectible action figures and the promise of downloadable map packs. They need celebrity endorsement.


So important are AAA games to the mindset of the average gamer today that a console's quality is typically derived merely by adding up the number of supposedly AAA titles in its library. Anything else is an afterthought. As such, developers will inevitably find their vision, their ideas, and their creativity stifled by the need to keep checking the boxes and pushing all the right buttons to hit that magic 9.0 and achieve the ineffable status of a AAA release.

Such is the power of hype.

Microsoft's E3 post-game analysis

E3 seems to have developed a fairly new tradition over its last few iterations; namely, that at least one of our 'big three' platform holders manages to offer up a misguided effort at winning over the media, the consumer and the average gamer in a fairly disastrous public showing of awkwardness, unintentional comedy and disappointment.

We've witnessed this in the past with Nintendo's cringe worthy on-stage demonstration of Wii music. Sony's silence-inducing announcment of the Playstation 3's launch price, along with a fairly confusing and haphazard incident with a giant enemy crab.

This year however, the gaffe crown was passed arguably for the very first time to Microsoft, the company whos experience in such corporate events over the decades of its existance has typically resulted in slick, engaging conferences which push all the right buttons.

In 2010 however, it was not to be so.

And with that, let's take a look at the substantive points cataloguing Microsoft's biggest errors which ultimately resulted in the overwhelmingly negative reaction which seemed to genuinely shock and surprise the Xbox 360 creators after what they seemingly believed was a successful showing.



"Honey, when you've made the sale... stop selling."

Such wonderful advice, and some Microsoft would do well to follow. The problem, you see, is that the first half of Microsoft's show was devoted to showing off games that nobody in the audience really needed - or even wanted - to see. If the purpose of E3 in the grand scheme of things is to convince retailers to invest in your platforms and your games, and to woo the media into giving positive press for your wares, is there really any purpose to showing off say, Halo? Or Gears of War? Have these games not essentially sold themselves?

When Halo 1 was still a huge hit fresh in the minds of gamers worldwide, it is entirely understandable that Microsoft would devote a chunk of their time to showing off the big sequel to their most successful game. And indeed, people went wild for it. Gamers, the press, retailers were all successfully bowled over by the excitement Microsoft and Bungie generation for Halo 2. After Halo 2 had come and gone however, and generations faded out and new beginnings arose, and we enjoyed the bounties of the Halo 2 multiplayer map pack, Halo 3, Halo Wars and Halo 3: ODST, Halo became what is commonly referred to as an established AAA franchise. A reliable source of consistant quality.


And as such, it sells itself. People dont need to be convinced to play something they already can't wait to play. And the same applies to Gears of War 3; the third iteration of a game which is still pretty fresh in our minds, and one which we simply don't need to have demonstrated before our eyes when it's not doing anything notably different than what we'd expect.

When you show off games like these, you inevitably bore your audience despite the AAA calibre of gaming excellence on display. They know it's good. They've been playing it for years. They expect it.

So what do they want?


E3 is as much about getting hands on time with those games you've had your eye on all the way through their development as it is about being blown away by all new titles you've never heard of before. The audience should leave your conference feeling hyped and excited for games that they had no interest in or no knowledge of prior to entering the auditorium. If you leave a press event not anticipating anything which you weren't already looking forward to when you went in, you just sat through a pretty shoddy conference.


And in that regard Microsoft dropped the ball big time. While they've always kept their conferences grounded in the near-future, and respectfully so, a complete failure to give even a glimpse of the horizon paints a worryingly bare and dull year ahead which journalists and gamers alike couldn't help but speak negatively about. That isn't to say that Microsoft have nothing planned for the year ahead and beyond, but if they do, they didn't show it.

Gamers already knew about Halo. We knew about Gears of War. We knew about Fable 3, Call of Duty: Black Ops, Project Natal and Metal Gear Rising. Other than a teaser trailer for a game which doesn't even have a name yet, Microsoft chose not to show a single title we don't already know is on the way, begging the question of what exactly we're supposed to look forward to after we bag our copies of Halo Reach this fall.

Finally, we must consider:


An old teacher of mine once told me that success in an exam or a presentation is as much about knowing your stuff as it is about managing your time. The two go hand in hand. This presents the finale of Microsoft's three biggest pitfalls.

The average gamer was left with little to nothing worth hearing about just 20 minutes or so into Microsoft's conference. The overwhelming bulk of their time was spent dealing with Project Natal, or as it has been newly dubbed, Kinect. Of course, this is both entirely understandable and defensible. As outlined above, E3 is all about winning over retailers after all, and its only natural that Microsoft would want to explain exactly why every store in the world should want Kinect on its shelves. We expected it, and we understood that it was necessary.


Even still, Microsoft's focus on Kinect went beyond what most could tolerate and pushed on into the labouriously dull territory of sounding like a broken record. From the showing of samey, family-fun games to the needlessly long on-stage demonstrations of fitness titles, Microsoft's Kinect unveiling dominated the show to the point of making the initial display of more traditional games appear an afterthought in an otherwise Kinect-only conference. Even more frustratingly, it was an error we'd all seen before with Nintendo's earlier demonstrations of the Wii, making it all the more baffling that Microsoft would fall victim to such a pitfall.

With great ease, it would seem. Microsoft do not suffer from a lack of great games to show off, and yet to the surprise of gamers world wide simply decided not to do so. Crackdown 2 was playable on the show floor and, judging by the video previews available all over the internet, appears to be a great deal of fun. The sequel to a game which didn't sell quite as well as it deserved to, readily available to show off and win over the gaming audience, yet it was completely AWOL at Microsoft's conference. New, interesting and unique titles like Limbo from the creators of the charming downloadable title Braid were also shown off elsewhere, and could have added a creative talking point to the Xbox 360's time in the spotlight.


Then we can consider whatever 343 studios is currently working on; even a teaser trailer would have sufficed. Instead? Nothing at all. What about the future of Xbox Live, the updates planned for the coming year and the slew of online games on the horizon? No mention.

Overall, i think the rumors circulating prior to Microsoft's show presented a prettier picture than the reality; separate press events for both Kinect and Microsoft's traditional gaming audience would have produced vastly better results. The ball is now in their court to prove to the average gamer decisively and in a timely fashion that they have not been left behind in the wake of Kinect's arrival.

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