although there are lots of games coming out, there are a few that if you dont pre order, you are in the pit.

So I thought pre ordering

Elite Beat Agents

Yoshi's Island II

would be a good idea.  anything else?

That's Right!! I am not Auf'd! :P.  The woman e-mailed back saying that I am in and that I need 3 more shirts... but there's one catch.

I thought I was designing for a rock band fashion display.  Instead it turns out to be the Hippie days that i briefly mentione d before!...  And I designed male rock shirts...  The woman says that she needs sizes 3-4 and needs 3 more shirts.  Followed tis by hair/make up and fittings!

I have really gotten myself into something I wouldn't think of getting myself into.  I am so glad my mom helped me with this in some ways because I would never beable to do this ALL on my own.

*sings* Today is August 10th, 2006.  This day commemorates alot of depth since a year ago.

Yes this is a happy occasion for my mother and family, but also one to ponder over and think about the times that were once different and special to us now more than ever.

Zach, my brother was a strong, tough and stubborn person.  He and I didn't have the best bond because I was a big baby and always needy and dependent for my mother until the last year and a bit.  He ended up bonding very deep with my dad and I was with my mom.  Kind of felt like two groups of two and no unity was ever there.

This really did break my heart when I was to find out that Zach was diagnosed with Leukemia, which is a very VERY hard to cure cancer which occurs in the blood stream.  He struggled and grew through the year and a half until he passed away...  on August 10th, 2005...  One year ago this very day.

I would get into depth, but i think the point im trying to make is if you read happy clouds blog about turning things into a positive? well here is another thing that inspired me to lose my weight.

Zach was the most emotionally reserved person I ever knew.  He would never shed a tear near me, he wouldn't say I love you or anything even with a little bit of sugar on top.

But when he said his last words to me.. *god i am crying right now inside typing this blog.* :cry:....

He immediately started balling tears out and couldn't resist the depression in his voice.  He said to me a number of things, but the one thing that got to me when I was there.  he said

"Live you life everyday to the fullest, because you never know when you will get a game over.  I mean look at me Josh, I was healthy and fine a year and a half ago, and now look at me.  I am lying on my bed saying farewell to you.  Nothing made me think this would happen and now look at me! I am going to die.  And I don't want that to happen to you or anyone else.  Make everyday count and don't regret anything you do from now until you die."

At this point I broke down to because he was the most open that I ever saw him in his life.

This is what caused me to lose my weight.  I didn't want to be obese and unhealthy and die... not only did i not need it, but I don't want to put my family through anymore pain than they have already gone through.  NO ONE should go through something like this.  Everytime I see a sunset, or something pretty or even the wind blowing in the trees? I try to imagine that Zach is right there with me.  Someone who is open and forgiving.

He finally realized when I said goodbye to him that he should have not been so hard on me during his life.  He though to himself, why did i have to push my younger brother away from me all the time! WHY?  I was a sensitive guy and always wanted to help and be with my brother all the time.  But the door was always slammed in my face whenever I tried to bond with him.

And there was alot I wish I could have asked him, but I was in shock and didn't know what to do... I guess it was like being frozen in time with him only being in the room...

Well... Now you know how I lost my weight, and also know a small backround about my older brother, Zachary.

Fin

Okay, so.  I was waiting for my mom to come home with a packet of tide to go to get out some teeny weeny stains out of my new waffle, stitched armani exchange shirt and to also realize that my mom shows me this very small newspaper she found in the paper.  It says that this person is looking for young youth/student designers who are looking to show their work on the RUNWAY!!!

Now I don't know what this lady means by this add, but I just started playing around with deconstructing some old t-shirts i found and am clipping, slashing and hacking away at them to make some cool and funky designs.

My mom emails the woman to say i am interested in making a collection of funky Tees; She responds back. So we left her my number and she will call us i guess and want some photos perhaps.

Anyways, the runway show happens august 19th! thats only 10 full days to work on my collection!  and who even knows in hell if she likes the work i make!  Well I will try and pull it off and obviously my mom will help me with some basic stuff due to the fact im still a little clueless.  But I finally have a little speck of light to show possible potential I have to be a designer! Yay!!!!

I've asked before and i will ask again.  If you have been enjoying my videos, but are left wanting more?

List some ideas.  Anything you want and I will try to make those ideas come to life.