9:52 P.M, Wednesday, July 23, 2008:

Bleep-- Bleep-- Bleep--

My father turned slightly on the bed. "Did you hear that?" he said to me, with his eyes still fixed on his laptop. "I think it was our alarm system. Go check it out,"

I stopped reading the Sonic page on Giant Bomb, looked to him, got up and said, "Yeah. Yeah, okay." I scanned my desk for a blunt weapon and took up my cat's hair brush. With it in hand, I started out the door, when suddenly I collided with my husky cousin.

"Did you hear that, Aaghaaz?" he said very quickly. I looked at him for a few seconds and then turned back into my dad's room, who's door I had left half-open.

"Mony (husky cousin) and his mom heard it, too." I said, approaching my desk. "What should we do?"

"Ah, it's probably nothing." he mumbled to me while watching a trailer for a movie on iTunes.

"Hell no, dude!" I exclaimed, with tongue-firmly-in-cheek. "Mony and I are afraid. What if someone broke into the house?!"

My dad laughed and continued to watch his trailer. "Dad, you need to handle the situation", I said, approaching him. He mumbled something to shrug me off, which is when I started to shut his laptop.

"Alright, alright!" he said and pushed off of his bed. He followed Mony and I through our hallway, into our kitchen, past our stove, our knives, our oven, our toaster and our microwave to the very end of the dining table, where there was a rectangle-shaped alarm system, slightly concealed by a reddish-brown cabinet. Father walked to it drowsily while I comforted my dog, Rocky, who'd been barking throughout this perdicament. My dad examined the machine for a while when we heard the mysterious beep again.

I watched my Dad as he punched a few keys, immediatley unarming the system. He turned around and started to walk back. At first a bit a startled, I recollected and caught up to him as he walked forward, towards his room. "What just happened?" I asked him.

"Nothing. The alarm was on. I unarmed it." He stated matter-of-factly. I turned to Mony, who was standing in front of his room.

"That scared me." Mony said, and I nodded as I entered my dad's room. He got onto his bed and continued to watch his trailer. I fell into my chair and watched him.

"So what'd you do, Dad?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, like, did you turn the alarm off?"

"Yes, I did."

"Yeah, but it was on."

"I know. And I turned it off."

"Yeah, okay, but dude. It was on."

"I am aware of this, because I turned it off."

I finally realized what I was trying to say: "Yeah, but why was it on?"

Father paused for a moment. "I turned it off," he said again.

"You turned it off because it was on, yeah, I know. But why did it go off?"

"I dunno."

"What?!" I exclaimed.

"Huh." He shrugged.

"Someone must've broken in, Dad."

"Nah."

"Dude, someone must've broken in."

He mumbled something.

"Dad, give me your attention! I'm scared, dude."

He stopped watching the trailer and looked at me. "Alright, it was probably a mistake made by the system," he said. "You know, wind or something." I believed him, but still denied it, in my state of paranoia. "Okay, whatever. But can you please take care of Rocky?"

I agreed to that, and went outside to inquire as to why he had been barking. When I came, he sat down for me and looked at me with his infamous puppy-dog eyes. I went to my room and called for him to follow me, but when he didn't, I assumed that the baloon outside my room was frightening him. I grabbed the baloon and ran outside. I looked to Rocky, who'd followed me outside, and said, "Look!" And let go of the baloon. "See, all better-" For some reason, I hadn't expected the baloon to float away. But it did. Watching it, I remembered what happened earlier in the day:

My dad and I went to Fry's Electronics to pick up a new hard drive. The one in my computer was corrupted, and my dad wanted to wipe the drive clean, because it was nearly impossible to remove it from the system. I didn't want to lose whatever memories I had collected on it in the past 7 months I'd had it, so I dilligently refused. When at Fry's, we found the process of disassembling the computer and buying special screwdrivers to be much too difficult, and went home empty-handed. At the time, I didn't understand why it didn't matter to my dad whether or not those memories were there. I always had a very bad feeling whenever I lost memories or things that represented them.

I had this very same feeling when the baloon drifted away. I think it had been in the house for a couple of weeks, and while I didn't pay much attention to it, I wanted to watch it "live" and "die", or deflate. I continued to stare into the sky, until it completely disappeared from my sight. I sighed and turned to my dog, who started to wag his tail when he saw me looking at him. I smiled at him and trudged back into the house. In the kitchen, I prepared some hot cocoa. I took a sip or two and began walking back to my room, when I called for Rocky to follow. When he didn't, I walked back into the kitchen, where he was sitting, waiting for me. His tail wagged at the sight of me. In that instant, I realized why clearing my hard disk didn't matter to my dad. In that instant, I realized why Rocky had been barking throughout the night. In that instant, I realized why I was afraid of a burgalar that I knew probably didn't exist. In that instant, I realized, in Rocky's eyes... nothing but love.

+

+

And just for good measure:

=

You know that movie that everyone is watching? About that guy in tights?

Just some bullets from mah Hype-Gun:

* Capcom said that whatever the floop they're doing with the gameplay in Resident Evil 5 will be vastly improved eventually, so I expect to see a better game when it's on display at TGS.

* There will probably be some information on what's the ongoing with Kojima and Metal Gear.

* Juicy, indepth details on FFXIII and what appears to be it's FFVII-esque gameplay.

* Since TGS isn't as big of a deal to investors, Nintendo might buck up and show mah some Kid Icarus, and where they're going with the new, possibly re-invented Zelda game.

* Street Fighter DLC?

* Brad Shoemaker might finally unveal the truth: Is Mega Man 9 built with the original NES SDK?

* Gran Turismo 5.

* Kingdom Hearts III.

Listening to way too much of the Trigames podcast.

While I was playing Grand Theft Auto IV yesterday, I realized how much fun the previous Grand Theft Auto games had been. Yes, Grand Theft Auto IV is, without a doubt, the most technically impressive game in the GTA franchise. However, my opinion stands, now much firmer than ever before, that Grand Theft Auto III is the funnest in the series. Yeah, yea, it mainstreamed the idea of an open world, a sandbox in which we can progress in uniform linearity or go totally bonkers with non-linearity, but I feel that what makes it better then it's sequels and prequels is that it has the greatest "campaign".

First of all, what does the word "campaign" mean when applying it to such an open game like Grand Theft Auto? Well, in the game there are missions that you can choose to do if you get bored stealing taxis from indian people and running over innocent pedestrians. It seems that you can do these missions out of order, but eventually some employers will disappear/die, and sometimes a major event occurs in the plot line. In GTA IV, they put a ridiculous amount of effort into everything in that damn game, including the campaign, and not excluding the multiplayer. However, I bet if they weren't busy with multiplayer, they would've had more time to make the campaign even better than it is now.

Don't get me wrong here, GTA IV's story is the best of the franchise, and it's missions are unbelievably enjoyable, better then the missions in GTA III. They're complicated, smart, and sometimes wicked difficult. If I could go back in time, there is nothing I would change about that game. Nothing. But then why do I think GTA III is a better game? Because, and I know this sounds stupid, they didn't put as much effort into it.

Back then, Rockstar didn't have such the large budget they do now, because to be honest, GTA I & 2 just weren't that good. All Rockstar had going for Grand Theft Auto III was the non-linearity and the missions. Therefore, when I was playing the game, I couldn't shake off the feeling that the open nature of the game was actually just a vehicle to deliver the missions, and since there wasn't much more to the game, I ended up giving all my attention to the story, missions, and action. It's like the first time you watch Star Wars IV. Or the first time you read The Hobbit. There's an aroma; a pleasuring, sweet feeling I get whenever I think about pulling indians out of taxis and running over innocent pedestrians in great, not-so-big Liberty City.

Oh and Claude is BAMF.

Tru3_Blue and I were watching him suffer through Sonic and Knuckles for the Gamecube, when he suggested he make me play one of his most favoritist, gamingist games: Grand Theft Auto IV. Here's the conversation in essence, or, as well as my tripped up mind can recall:

Tim: ARGH! I don't want to play fricking Sonic and Knuckles on your fricking Nintendo Gamecube in this fricking room!

Me: You have to.

Tim: How come?

Me: It makes me happy.

Tim: To see me suffer?

Me: No, to see my friends happy doing something that makes me happy.

Tim: ...I'm not happy.

Me: I am aware of that, but I want you to be happy.

Tim: Huh? This game isn't making me happy

Me: Yes, but this game made me happy. I want to make you see the good in it so that maybe you too can be happy playing it, which in turn will make me happy, because your happiness gives my previous happiness more worth!

Tim: I have no idea...

Me: I was happy playing this. If I can make you happy playing this, my hapiness will be worth more.

Tim: Oh, I know that feeling. I tried to do that with Half-Life-

Me: Which is a great game!

Tim: But you said it was boring.

Me: I was nine back then.

Tim: You're pwned now.

Five minutes later, around 9:30.

Tim: Enough of your happiness, it's time for Little Tim to make you play some of Little Tim's games.

Me: Okay, Tim.

Tim: GTA... away!

Me: Nah.

Tim: Why not?

Me: I don't feel like it, man.

SEVEN HOURS LATER, approximately 4:30 AM

Me: Yo, Badman, I n' I wanna the time n' time.

Tim: Four.

Me: As in Four o' clock?

Tim: As in it's four in the #$%&ing morning.

Me: Oh. Hey, what do you do after Little Jacob gets out to do that deal thing?

Tim: Get on the roof top.

Me: You mean that mini-roof top thing that's like smaller in height near the beginning?

Tim: Yeah.

Me: Cool.

Tim: Cool.

(10:36:25 PM) superpoop: Wait!
(10:36:27 PM) superpoop: Oh my gosh!
(10:36:31 PM) superpoop: Remeber-
(10:36:34 PM) superpoop: OH MY GOSH!
(10:36:37 PM) superpoop: WHOA WHOA
(10:36:41 PM) superpoop: HEY WHOA!
(10:36:44 PM) superpoop: Tim!
(10:36:49 PM) superpoop: You're gonna flip
(10:36:52 PM) superpoop: You
(10:36:53 PM) superpoop: are
(10:36:55 PM) superpoop: gonna
(10:36:57 PM) superpoop: gonna
(10:36:58 PM) superpoop: gonna
(10:37:03 PM) superpoop: flip ouuuuuuut!
(10:37:07 PM) Timah: what?
(10:37:12 PM) Timah: is it bad?
(10:37:14 PM) superpoop: Dude.
(10:37:18 PM) superpoop: Well, kind of.
(10:37:25 PM) superpoop: It's not horrible
(10:37:29 PM) superpoop: and it's not great
(10:37:30 PM) Timah: that's good enough.
(10:37:36 PM) superpoop: Then again I wouldn't say it's good.
(10:37:40 PM) superpoop: Maybe lukewarm?
(10:37:42 PM) Timah: does it have something to do with the government?
(10:37:49 PM) superpoop: kind of a "oh" news.
(10:37:52 PM) superpoop: Not exactly
(10:37:56 PM) Timah: say it

[ ... ]

(10:38:01 PM) superpoop: I pooted.
(10:38:06 PM) Timah: :o

(03:36:44 PM) superpoop: I must comeover
(03:36:49 PM) superpoop: immediatly
(03:36:51 PM) superpoop: right away
(03:36:52 PM) superpoop: pronto
(03:36:52 PM) Timah: why?
(03:36:54 PM) superpoop: ASAP
(03:36:58 PM) superpoop: real quick
(03:36:59 PM) superpoop: fast
(03:37:03 PM) superpoop: super sonic
(03:37:06 PM) superpoop: must
(03:37:07 PM) superpoop: come
(03:37:08 PM) superpoop: now
(03:37:09 PM) superpoop: or
(03:37:11 PM) superpoop: now
(03:37:12 PM) superpoop: or
(03:37:13 PM) superpoop: die
(03:37:14 PM) Timah: give me a quock reason
(03:37:23 PM) superpoop: Define quock...
(03:37:27 PM) Timah: quick*
(03:37:33 PM) superpoop: I'm coming over
(03:37:36 PM) superpoop: NOW!!!!!!!!!
(03:37:38 PM) Timah: k
(03:37:41 PM) superpoop: Right way
(03:37:44 PM) superpoop: like right now.
(03:37:46 PM) superpoop: like in one second
(03:37:49 PM) superpoop: like in half a second
(03:37:52 PM) superpoop: like asap
(03:37:55 PM) superpoop: A the ****ing sap
(03:38:01 PM) superpoop: As Soon As Possible
(03:38:07 PM) superpoop: ASAFP
(03:38:14 PM) superpoop: As Soon As ****ing Possible
(03:38:28 PM) superpoop: ASAITAS
(03:38:39 PM) superpoop: As Soon As I Take A ***
(03:38:45 PM) superpoop: NOW!!!!!!!!1
(03:38:52 PM) superpoop: Coming over NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(03:38:54 PM) superpoop: right now!
(03:38:58 PM) superpoop: really quickly
(03:39:00 PM) superpoop: really fast
(03:39:16 PM) superpoop: I'll be there before you can say quock.
(03:39:19 PM) superpoop: like soo fast
(03:39:24 PM) superpoop: like super sonic speed
(03:39:26 PM) Timah: THEN COME TO THE ****KING HOUSE!
(03:39:32 PM) superpoop: just unbelievably fast!

... No siree.

If I took all the evil, satanic power that the Xbox 360 achievement system has over the gaming community and then tied to you to a chair, beckoning the question: "What can I combine this grudging, destroying power with to create something maybe even more heinous, vicious and atrocious?" Is the first thing that comes to your mind an MMORPG? Is the first WORD that comes to your mind "WoW"?

Wow indeed, for Blizzard is about to add an achievement system to it's extremely popular game World of Warcraft. I'm sure many of you are familiar with that common-but-now-not-so-common gamer arch-type that sits in his room at night hunched over his monitor hitting F5, and also familiar with the many who buy every crappy game that every crappy developer made chalkful of achievements in hopes that these certain individuals, often referred to as "achievement whores", will gobble up these certain games, often referred to as "crappy games".

Although I don't know for sure, I think this addition to WoW, if well implemented and ingeniously marketed, can drive hordes of hungry achievement whores to an early migration to the ever-so-prosperous PC, maybe even vice versa, since many of the WoW addicts might find that achievement whoring is quite a lot of "fun" and might decide to bust out their old, dusty 360s for some hurrahs and, maybe, although this is my fourth maybe, some chocolate milk!

(06:06:54 PM) superpoop: Khow-chi. Kwho-CHI! KWHO_CHI!!!

(06:09:15 PM) Timah: wtf mate?

(06:10:00 PM) superpoop: That was inappropriate, Tim.

(06:10:11 PM) Timah: I know you are.

(06:10:17 PM) superpoop: Sexy?

(06:10:25 PM) Timah: No, inappropriate.

(06:10:44 PM) superpoop: Inappropriate?

(06:10:56 PM) Timah: yes

(06:11:00 PM) superpoop: Huh.

(06:11:16 PM) superpoop: That's an interesting deduction there, Timah.