I had never visited Roys house before, but he invited me over so I decided to go and call for him to see if he wanted to come and catch some bees. I had trouble finding his house, but when I got there the door was answered by his mum - a tubby woman about 50years old with curly hair. I asked if Roy was home and she told me to come in. While I was waiting, she started chatting to me:

 Hi love, do you want a cup of tea.

No, Im ok thanks, I replied.

What you been doing today?

Not much, just playing on my computer.

Oooh, youre one of those computer whizz kids are you?

 Not really.

Want a massage?

I wasnt sure if I heard her right. Errsorry? What?

Oh, love, could you give me a massage first? My back pains me, my dear!

She turned around so her back was facing me.

Erm, I just wanted to see if Roy was in. Is he about? I asked.

Oh go on, deary, just a quick massage. Dont let me down.

I didnt want to offend Roys mum so I decided to rub her shoulders.

Ooh, thats nice, Love. A bit lower.

I went lower.

Just a bit firmer, deary. Put some muscle into it, I wont break.

By now I felt uncomfortable, but I went with it.

Ooooh, thats really good. Do you mind if I take my dress off? she asked.

Im sorry, I have to go. Ive just remembered something I gotta do!

I left her house quickly and shut the door behind me. Just then I heard someone call out to me. I looked up to see Roy leaning out of the window of the house next door. He let me in and I told him about what had happened. It was not his mum afterall!