So for the first half of my summer break I spent it like I normally do, feeling terrible about my self and hating my life despite of all I had going for me. I felt typical in the sense that I felt lonely, and empty of companionship. As normal, I wanted a gf, but lacked the means to acquire one.

Last week I bought a poster, for $5. It was the smartest thing I did all summer, perhaps even all year. The poster was of an extremely attractive model dressed in a white bikini while standing in a pool and leaning over a marble floor. She's staring at the viewer with a passionate stare and an almost Mona Lisa grin that one would derive from intense longing or gas. Frankly, given her pose I'd believe either.

Since I put the poster above the wall overlooking my computer monitor I have felt barely any depression. Whenever I begin feeling somewhat lonely or hopeless, all I have to do is look up at this striking model and my sadness recedes like low tide.

The pain I thought that could only be quelled with a relationship with someone, or true love, has now been snuffed out like a flame thanks to a poster. Thanks to a flat representation of beauty.

I no longer see the point in relationships.

I once thought men were willing and dutifully bound to women, to the point where they'd do anything to earn approval of females. This included, but wasn't limited to, expensive gifts, dates and a grand amount of time that could have been devoted to other activities.

Now, where I once thought was a hopeless battle on my nerdy part to win over the heart of any single woman, I just look at this poster. I don't care that I'm single; I don't think I ever will again. For me the end goal was a girl friend, but this poster has given me everything I would have expected to feel from a girlfriend.

So women, I appreciate your time and the effort you put into the human race, but I don't think your services will be required anymore. At least not here.