Well I've been retired from all of my shows and people as editor. I knew it would happen eventually although most of the people and shows I was editor of weren't really active to begin with. I just hope that whomever takes over the guides takes good care of them. Good luck.

So I've not been around for a while. Sorry about that if you were worried. I hope you are all okay. I miss this place but things haven't been the same for me in a long while. If you'd like to get in contact with me please do it via email (my user name at aol.com) as I must check that every day.

I will be living a life long dream in 10 days. On October 6th I will be traveling to Ireland, County Cork to be exact, where I will spend 20 days. I've a friend there, Mark, who I care deeply for. He'll be spending part of my time there with me. Kinda cool to have someone from there willing to show me around and get me used to things. This will be my first vacation since my illness so I'm really excited. I will have my laptop with me, and if I can get connected I will be monitoring my queue. If for some reason it takes a bit longer for me to get to your submissions I ask that you be patient. Wish me luck and I'll keep ya posted. Love you guys.

It's been so long since I've spent any time here. I've missed so much. Most importantly Gabfan's birthday. I'm so sorry my friend. I hope you can forgive me. Things have gone from bad to worse for me. I can't even go into everything because it's too painful. It's to the point where I might cancel the trip to Ireland that I have planned for September. My co-worker Tess passed away last Thursday. She was at work on Tuesday so nobody expected it. However, she was 94, so I guess it shouldn't have been so much a surprise. It's hurt me so much and I can't talk about it with anyone. My other co-worker, Carol, seems to be doing better. Yet with her illness you just never know. I want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers, I know they helped. I'm not sure if you remember me saying, a while back, that I was going to start working on improving myself because I was tired of feeling so badly since my surgery. Well... I've lost a nice amount of weight... and yet I've never felt worse about myself. I just don't understand it. People keep complimenting me and such and yet I look at myself and am not pleased at all. I'm not sure what's happened. I used to like myself, flaws and all, and now I just think 'blah.' I should be happy and I'm not. Sadly, I've not seen Guiding Light in months. I'm eventually gonna have to find someone who records the show and buy copies from them. As pathetic as it sounds... this upsets me to no end. Not the buying copies thing... the missing the show thing. Anyway... please remember I love you all, as always.

My co-worker Carol, who I told you a while back had both brain and lung cancer, is again ill. Both of her C's are back and she is now in the hospital. They can no longer perform cyberknife surgery on her brain so now she will have to have brain surgery to try and fix the problem. Please, pray for Carol and her two daughters. They lost their father last year to a sudden illness, please pray for Carol.

There's been so much going on. As you know I haven't been around in a few days. I was hoping that I would get back to normal this past week, but life doesn't always work out like we plan. Cody has been doing so horribly. He's been so depressed... and rightly so... but it's hard for me to see him like this. My son and I have been trying to help him but until yesterday nothing worked. And then we went to pick him up yesterday and he said he was feeling good. He even smiled and made a joke. So he's on his way. However, life has a way of testing your resolve. A good friend of my was recently dumped by his girlfriend of two years. He was planning on asking her to marry him later this year. He's become so heartbroken that he doesn't want to go on. We've been talking a lot and I've been trying to help but I'm not really sure how much good I'm doing. I have had a bit of time for myself the last two days. Last night I went to see the play Stones in his Pockets. Today I will be going to see the Irish Tenors. It should be nice. Hopefully by tomorrow I will be back to my normal stuff. Thank you all for sticking with me. Especially those of you who work on the GL guide. I'm several weeks behind in viewing so I really appreciate it.

So you've been reading my blog it seems. Reading about my feelings, my likes, my loves. The things that scare me and the things that give me strength. You've been mentioned. More than once. Others have as well. You're backing away. So are they. The intensity is too much for you. Imagine what it's like for me. To let someone see me so intimately. To admit that I need help at times. Strength without struggle is half-hearted. Life full of fear can be rough. Overcoming fear makes us stronger. Share my strength. My experience. My friendship. From me, you've nothing to fear. See me for who I truly am. Know my passion and compassion for the blessings they are. Read my blog again. This time... hear my voice when you do. Feel the words as they were intended. Sincere.

My ex-husband once told me that I would be alone for the rest of my life. That's a hard one to suck up. Especially since he said it to me when we were married. I've always joked that I was going to end up an old maid living in Ireland. Part of me has always been okay with that. Now, however, I don't think I quite like it all that much. Yet I'm more convinced than ever that is what will come to pass. If I have friends around me I guess it wouldn't be so bad. But in Ireland I'll really not know anyone. I do know a few people from there, but who is to say that I'll live anywhere near them. Why doesn't this idea scare me more? Though I will admit that it doesn't make me happy either. I'm not actually depressed by the thought, just disappointed. Sometimes, disappointed is worse.

I've been mulling over a possible life changing decision lately. I'm seriously thinking about going to school to become a therapist. You know, one of those people you go to for advice and to talk about your problems. No blood or anatomy needed. I've also been giving that whole buying a new car thing some thought. I know I should do it, my house is very far from my job so I've put a lot of miles on my current car. My main problem is that I love my car so much, even if it is old and probably falling apart. I know getting rid of it is the right thing to do, but I'm attached. :) My son has the chance to attend a week long 'class' in Washington, DC this summer where he would visit the White House and do mock government seminars. He loves politics so he's excited. I just have to decide if I want him in Washington or not. It's hard to know if it's the right thing with all that is going on in the world. Finally, I'm deciding whether or not to let someone know how I truly feel about them. That's a big one for me. There's always a chance it could go wrong or be misunderstood. I'm not really sure he'll be upset or maybe surprised... but since the decision rests on my shoulders, it's me who's got to do the thinking. Love you all... as always. :)

So The Simpsons have been renewed through 2011. That's a wonderful thing, especially if you're a fan of the show. But there's something that I resent about all this fanfare that is surrounding the extension of the animated series. With every mention of the show being extended into it's 20th season the words 'longest running show in television history' have accompanied it. I'm sorry... but that is WRONG! The longest running show in television history is Guiding Light, which has been airing on television since 1952 and before that started on radio in 1937. On top of that As the World Turns has been on television since 1956, which also makes it older than The Simpsons. I know that for the most part soap operas aren't considered in the same category as (just about) every other type of television, but in this case these shows should receive the same type of merit as everything else. How about calling The Simpsons, the longest running Prime Time Series. Or the longest running animated series. Something, anything, other than the longest running shows in television history. Once it's on the air for over 50 years... we'll talk again.