I once faced down a demon looking to bring about the apocolypse. It was the most terifying moment of my life. So what if it turned out that it was Halloween and that demon was just some poor kid trying to get some candy? When you're a secret Agent you can't ever take anything for granted.

If I thought a nine year old dressed in a demon cosume was scary I couldn't even begin to describe the terror that coursed through my veins as row upon row of fuzzy little hamsters waddled into the room. Thier black eyes glistend with evil! Evil I say!!! Well, technically they glistend with water. But evil water.

"Wha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" Dr. Z cackled. "With this army of armored hamsters I'll be unstoppable! UNSTOPPABLE I SAY!"

He stopped monologging and stared hard at his neferious army.

"These hamsters aren't armoured at all? Where's the kevlar? The back mounted bazookas? The pine tree shaped air freshener strung around thier little necks?!?"

"Air freshener?" I gave him a look. A really stern look that said I meant business.

"Do you have any idea how bad hamster cages smell? Any idea at all? Multiply that by 10,000. I don't want to rule a stinky world. I'd be the laughing stock of evil geniuses everywhere." One of his henchmen came over and whispered something in his ear. "Who stole the hamster sized army equipment?!?"

It's at this point that a nearby wall exploded revealing a man in a black suit wearing black sun glasses on the other side.

"Thank god!" I shouted. "MIB back-up".

"False sir." He took off his glasses and placed them in his front pocket. "The names Captain Dolphin. Top agent for PETA!"

Next Week: People Eating Tasty Animals has sent in Captain Dolphin to devour the hamster army. What do you mean PETA doesn't stand for People Eating Tasty Animals? But...but...I have an entire plot inolving...CYVA (CURSE YOU VAUGE ACRONYMS)!!!