I don't know what's wrong, but something feels off...

Maybe it's fact that the evening news seems even more depressing and scary than normal, body of a new born baby boy was found in a stream in the 3rd largest town here in Denmark. An adoption agency has basically made deals with kidnappers in India. One of the political parties are being even more scary nationalistic than usual. A danish ship has been hijacked by pirates out the coast of Africa and that's just the bad news concerned with subjects relevant to the Danish public, won't even begin to go into the state of the world in general because that would just make me feel even more off.

Another reason I think for my 'off-ness' is the fact that my body seems to once again be battling me. I'm late, and not just a little late - 10 days worth of late! I'm starting to get really cranky about that, and add to the fact that every day I do the 'dance of waiting to leave the house untill after the mail man has been here'-routine so that I won't miss out on seing the letter from the clinic right away it's starting to really get on my nerves.

I know it's too early to feel this impatient, and that there are people outthere who have been trying for way longer than we have, but in all honesty I'm been psycologically-pregnant for over a year now. Last year around this time I was standing in line to get the first set of George Michael tickets thinking "oh wauw when we go to the concert in November I might be sporting a nice baby-bump!" I also remember thinking that "it would be a nice and embaracing story to tell our future child that he or she was concieved while we were in France" Then when that didn't happen i remember thinking "On my birthday I'll maybe be able to tell our families that we are having a baby!" then ofcourse came the bad news and now it's all become so much more complicated.

I'm affraid to say that I'm starting to turn into one of those women who will get all misty eyed everytime she sees a pregnant belly or a child. I'm also worried that my best friend won't want to tell me if her and her boyfriend are able to conceive.

I'm really trying my very best to stay positive and up-beat and happy and oh i've got time off now about it all, but in reality I wish i had something to keep my mind off of things. It's too easy to just slip into brood-mode when your biggest item on the to-do list is put on sunscreen and go out into the courtyard with a Harry Potter Book...

I'm sorry if I'm bringing you all down too, but I guess I just needed to vent and Boyfriend is still busy with studying to his last exam of the semester so I don't want to bother him with my angst. Oh gosh isn't that just such a girly thing to do! To worry about him and his stresslevels insted of listening to myself? I guess you really can't fight your DNA...

At least I can look forward to going to my parents' house on monday to celebrate my Mum's birthday, and also I'm gonna go to my cousin's house on sunday - i've promissed her and her hubby to come look after their children and that's gonna be good fun. My Godson is always a hoot and his sister though she can be a real princess from time to time we still have a lot of fun! Also the good thing about children is that they help get your priority straight. One thing still can't grasp is the fact that my Godson is already 12 years old. Where the heck did those years go!?!? I guess the only good thing about this whole baby-making-problem we've got going is the fact that my Godson keeps getting older and that way he won't be too young to become the Godfather of my future child just like I've always wanted him to be. It's a nice tradition we've got going starting with his Mum being my Godmother, me being his and then hopefully he'll accept the 'challenge' when we finally get there.

So my plan for tomorrow is to finally go empty out the locker/shelves and notice board at my desk at studiehall and then go talk to one of the people at the office about my internship, get my hopes and wishes written down said internship and last but not least go celebrate with my friend who's got an exam tomorrow.

I think this post got sidetracked somewhere, but I guess that just proves the randomness that is my brain at the moment... G, R and J are you gals going through something like that too or is it just my 1/4 of the brain that needs re-Booth-ing? (yeah i pun too when i'm all wonky)

maybe this will help lighten the mood... it's my cure alls...

Gorgeous men with bare feet - now I'm gonna turn off the computer and go snuggle up to my very own gorgeous barefooted man, who's probably already asleep seing as it's 0.53am here and like I said he's busy with his studying during the day.