I've come to realize the inevitable...all those scars from years of pain and torment are catching up to me. For years, I've brushed them aside as if they were nothing. I just carterized the wound and kept moving not letting anything get to me. Being ever the optimistic fool. Now all those years of scars are coming back to kill my heart and darken my soul. The scars are so deep and tough...that nothing can penetrate it...it takes something that cause me a huge amount of pain for me to barely feel it and all it leaves is a scratch. I'm realizing that I do not feel nor care anymore. I still help my friends but in the end... I just don't care what the end result is anymore. Nothing phases my dying heart nor my dark soul...
:twisted:
Well I guess I said what I had to say... I shant bother you further...I'll just let the darkness consume me and let my madness and insanity continue to twist my reality...it's really not that bad...but then again as I said I cannot feel or care...not even for myself so how would I know how bad or twisted or whatever this can be
Happiness will never be mine....
I seem to be doomed to come close to being happy but when I start to think that this time my happiness is meant to last...something always happens to take it away from me...I'm thinking about giving up on seeking the happiness I'm never going to find...my happiness that I seek so much is nothing more than a myth. I've had brief moments of true happiness and they were great...I'd never want to let those memories slip away...but the happiness I seek the true long lasting happiness is never going to be... I grew up my entire life depressed, anti-social, reclusive, shut myself away from the world, lonely, miserable, and in pain...of evrery unimaginable kind and yet I was always cheerful, optimistic, kind, caring, compassionate, understanding, funny, intelligent, open minded, and thoughtful. *Yeah I am a walking contradiction*
The point of all this is I've finally given up on seeking the happiness I will never find...I give up on everything...I give up on life...don't get me wrong I'm not going to kill myself I just don't care anymore...I really don't...
Cold, Dark World
The dark cold night creeps in upon the day.
Slowly the sun is submerged within the darkness of the night.
Silently and slowly the moon raises upward to take it's place on it's throne in the sky as the King of the Night.
Everyday this battle continues between the Sun and the Moon.
As the darkness consumes the day, silence spreads across the country,
as if the darkness was smothering all sounds of the day.
As the light of day disappears and darkness takes it turn.
The sights and sounds of the day are soon replaced by the night's own music and wonders.
The day is soon forgotten as the night goes on and on,
but soon people will remember the day,
when the sun breaks through the cold, dark night to take it's rightful place upon the throne in the sky as the King of the Day.
So take the battle of the Sun and Moon to heart.
No matter how dark, scary, bleak, and depressing your life seems to be,
there will always be a brighter future, it will soon come to be.
There will always be another day, another chance for a better day.
Changes
The cold, darkness of my life had slowly consumed my heart.
My heart grew cold and dark. I became cold and uncaring towards everyone and everything.
I was living my life at a cold, distance from everyone, including my friends.
Then I met you and my life was turned upside down and inside out.
You changed me for the better.
I was in love with you the moment I met you.
My heart was thawed and glows brightly with the feelings I have for you.
Caring for you unleashed all those I had never felt.
I became closer to my friends, helping them with their problems.
I knew what love was. What it was like to care and worry.
All those feelings good and bad, I felt because of you.
Your love sliced through the cold, darkness of my heart like a knife.
I'm glad we met or I could have lived my life as a cold, heartless person.
Thank you, baby for all that you have done for me.
Lost
I was lost in the cold, dark, loneliness of my own heart.
I thought I be alone all my life.
"Who would love me?," I thought.
Then I came to know you.
I came to know the girl of my dreams.
You went from being the girl of my dreams to the girl I truly love.
You became my soulmate.
You became the one I wanted to spend my entire life with.
You became my reason to be happy.
You inspired me to start my life so that we could have a future.
You became my hope.
You are my one and only.
You are my other half.
You are my...everything.
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Rolling down the street baby sipping on gin and juice laid back...with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.
What up all my players of the game? Don't hate the playah hate the game. So as I said WHAT UP BIYATCHES!?
I wish I had more to talk about but....sigh my life is boring school school school...what is that...could it be yes yes yes it is a weekend!
Hey all you happy ppls, how is your day going? My day is going great smatter of fact it is going great!
T is for torrent that's good enough for me!
T is for torrent that's good enough for me!
ThAT'S IT THAT IS ALL I HAVE TEH SAY!
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