Ok my life has become one big soap opera. My wife had asked me to move out and now I am living in a townhouse by myself. Sure that happens to a lot of people. The thing is, I have M.S. and Crohn's disease. Both of which are dibilitating at times. The reason my wife asked me to move out is because she "doen't like what I am ALOWING the diseases to do to me" WTF? Yes it's true I have been in a crappy mood a lot lately. But when you try to get used to the fact your life will never be the same again because of these diseases, it takes some time to learn to adjust. Aparently it's taking much too long for my wife to deal with. I am doing my best to understand her side of all this. It doesn't mean I have to like it or anything like thyat. I am just trying to understand her point of view. However I don't believe she is granting me the same courtesy in return. She says she wants things to work out and be able to "save" the marriage but I don't see ant scinserity in what she is saying. We did start going to a marriage counselor last week and plan to continue with that. If (and thats a big if) we are able to work things out and save the marriage, it is going to take a very long time indeed. In my opinion I feel as though I have out lived my usefulness and have just become a burden that is no longer tolerable. One thing that has supported my theory (and I know at this time it's just a theory) is that not one single person, family or friend, has bothered to contact me to see how I am doing. They have flocked to my wifes doorstep to check on her but it seems I am of no consiquence.
It puzzels me as to why that is. Seriously, I am a nice guy. Really. Yes I am upset at my life's current condition with the M.S. and Crohn's, but for God's sake give me a chance to come to terms with it. It's been less than a year since the M.S. diagnosis and less than 6 months foe the Crohn's diagnosis. I am not going to just say "oh dang, my life is forever changed, oh well" It is going to take a lot of time for me to adjust, period! It seems that the rest of my family and my friend don't seem to get that. I am not always complaining about my life and how crappy I feel. I do have my good days too and do my best to make the most of them. So I am rather disapointed at the seeming abandonment of all the people that I know.
I don't want pitty, I would however apreciate a little sympathy and some understanding. Aparently that is just too much to ask for. Believe me though, I have watched my language here and I would have prefered to use a bit more "colorful" language, but then I figured, whats the point? Getting pissed off isn't going to solve anything. I should just do my best to keep plugging along and see where life takes me.