The rumours (beginning and ending with the blog title) about my death have been greatly exaggerated. The real reasons I'm not on Gamespot much anymore is *bah-bah-bah-bum* university. A full time course, compounded with off-campus work, really eats into your time, and I'm spending most of my net sessions researching for assignments. Still, I'll be popping in from time to time, and I'll make sure to read all of your blogs. Fears and resentments eased? Excellent...

 Anyway, I had my 19th birthday on April 24th. In contrast to the last two years, I just made it a relatively quiet, family occasion. I bought myself the Diablo battlechest (so now I've got the original and DII's expansion) and Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones, so I'm slashing away merrily during my spare time. I'm nearly halfway through Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and I'm restarting I Am Legend for one of my Literature assignments...who said uni had to be dull :P?

Finally, I've now got an account on Windows Messenger. If anyone wants the address, just PM me and I'll send it.

Fare thee well,

Sgt. Homonculus

Hard to believe, but around 365 days ago an impressionable young 'un signed on to GS under the username Sgt_Homonculus (the second word of which was briefly replaced with a sequence of asterixes...even cloned, misshapen humanoids must endure the wrath of the PC movement). I must say, I've learnt a few things since then...there's only one WAYLT thread, party threads under 10k are a no-no, and always remember the :roll: emoticon. Those aside, it's been a pretty fun year - most GS users have at least some sort of sense of humour, and seeing suicide threaders crash and burn is a fine spectator sport;). I'd like to thank everyone on my contacts list for persisting with this particular annoying git, and for just being the diverse and cool cast of characters you are.

Anyway, everything's going as normal. I'm cutting back on Diablo II as the university workload steps up in intensity, but I've still managed to find the time to finish Path of Neo, which manages to right many of Enter the Matrix's wrongs - still a bit on the short side, though. The next game on the agenda is Dynasty Warriors 5...another guilty pleasure, but I've been hooked on the series since the fourth instalment. And anything that encourages you to read (in this case, Romance of the Three Kingdoms) can't be all bad, can it?

 Blathering done for the day,

                                       Sgt. Homonculus

Rather an ironic title, really, as I’m quite chipper at this point in time. University’s proceeding well, as is life in general. I’m still a white belt in karate, and I’ll probably stay that way for at least two months. Rather worried about the future of Family Guy, though. Case in point: ‘Saving Private Brian’. For most of the running time the episode was perfectly fine (if not stellar), until the last few minutes. Marilyn Manson’s animated form was obviously voiced by someone else, and after delivering various vaguely corny homilies to a rebellious Chris, the show ended with one of those ‘charming’ sitcom staples – the group laugh. If this were an earlier episode (or a 90’s Simpsons) someone or something would have cut through the treacle (eg. ‘Oops, I left the gas on’). In this case, not so. Of course, I’m probably fussing over nothing, but still…

Diablo II: : Beorn’s defeated the eponymous baddy on normal difficulty, but this victory was rather outweighed by my bad luck on the ‘Cow Level’ (I kid you not). Having swiftly been overwhelmed by a horde of bipedal bovines, I was helpless to stop them swarming around the portal to the level, resulting in an instant demise every time I entered :evil:. And yes, you’ll have needed to play the game to get any sense out of the last two sentences…

It’s taken eight years since the first time I heard them, but in the last several weeks I’ve started to take a liking to Rammstein. Sure, the rolling R’s are more likely to invoke smirking than awe. Sure, they push the goth-inflected industrial schtick a bit too far. And certainly the music invokes the faintest whiff of Fascism, despite the band’s proclaimed left-wing stance. But all such caveats are drowned out in a sea of burning frontmen, lyrical wordplay, snarling guitar riffs and the keyboardist crowd-surfing on a boat. It’s both awesomely weird and weirdly awesome.

Retreating into obscurity once more,

Sgt. Homonculus.

Three days lapsed and I'll be diving into the murky depths of the human mind once more  (and don't we all know a degree in Psychology makes you batty, eh?) Coincidentally, my time's being spent on other not so inane activities as well. Namely, I've started going to karate lessons. Being a white belt in a class of greens and over isn't the most proud of stations, but everyone starts somewhere, do they not?

Perhaps less profoundly, I've rekindled my interest in that old chestnut Diablo II. With some now outdated sprites and two mouse buttons, Blizzard perfected the dungeon crawl in ways that haven't been surpassed yet...though Dark Alliance comes close. Anyway, my current main character is Beorn, a level 25 Barbarian with pathetic (if unique) armour and one helluva maul. (BTW the blog title refers to the Fetishes, demonic dolls infesting the Kurast jungles...I never knew blowpipes could be so annoying). And while the geek pimples haven't sprouted yet, I'm sure they will within the week.

Also on the cultural radar; Family Guy season 5 (or 6, depending on the numbering system) debuted in Australia on the 15th (?) February - needless to say, my ROFL quota's satisfied every week now. I've also finished Ninja Scroll, which is a mighty fine (and gory) ride, complete with monster superteam. Rage is hosted by Trivium this Saturday, too. Soundgarden, Slayer...it's going to be fun...

Lastly, for anyone who wonders what my new sig is, it's Nick Cave during his stint in the Birthday Party (an underappreciated group if ever there was one).

Sgt. Homonculus, signing off.

Wow...haven't updated this in a while. Anyway, the latest news: I start university again in a month. Psychology, minoring in Literature and Ancient History. Sickeningly, I'm actually liking these subjects (:o teh abnormality!!!). The various quirks of the human mind are endlessly fascinating, if morbidly so (a poll on the 10 major personality disorders? I'll pass).

It's taken several weeks, but I've gotten back into the OT swing...post as often and thoughtlessly as possible. Swiftness is doubly important for us dialup users...bleedin' modems, cut ya off in 10 minutes...*grumble, grumble*. Also, if I can motivate myself, I'll get around to deploying a new avatar and siggy (oohh...perhaps even a piccy sig this time!)

Also, if you're reading this, give poor ol' blackleech a friendly message  - you'll see the reason why in his blog.

CYA for now,

                     Sgt. Homonculus.

(You've read it, you can't unread it!)

After seemingly an aeon at level 12, I'm now fit to bear the title Toobin'. It's doubtful that this is of any use, but, well, it's a milestone of sorts...:?

Anyway, the main reason for the blog is to announce my triumphant (?) return to GS. I've finished university for the year, and with nothing but a barren stretch of vacation stretching out in front of me, what better way of spending my time than getting re-acquainted with good ol' GS? (That is, aside from socializing, studying for next year...y'know, useful stuff.)

Latest games played: Resident Evil 4 (so awesome no amount of expletive-filled praise can do it justice), God of War (see above) and Family Guy (which I desperately wanted to like, but in the end just couldn't). Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some skyscraper sized monoliths to smite...

By way of explanation of my absence, I've decided to take something of a vacation from GS. It's been taking up a fair chunk out of my schedule, and what with university and other commitments, that's time I can't really afford to spend posting. As such, this period of decreased forum activity will probably continue for at least several weeks, possibly longer. :wink: Don't worry, the holidays willl be around before too long (Summer arrives at the end of the year in Australia! Gadzooks!), so I'll be back eventually. Until then, cheerio, and may we soon meet again on the electronic warzone that is OT.

Steve Irwin, Feyre and Lu_Bu01, all dead (real or effectively) in the one day:( (and I'm not feeling too well myself...). Needless to say, I'm not in the best of spirits at the moment. *Sigh* See you on the other side, fellas (if there is another side...) *Quivers, waterworks turn on* It's not faaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiirrrr:cry:.

Shocking news, everyone (well, it shocks me): I now have a Moderation History :o:o:o! Apparently it's for trolling; I disagreed with someone on OT, and may have chosen the wrong words to posit my argument. It was all in jest, but since it doesn't really affect my profile I'm not complaining. Hehe, it might even give me the rebel patina I so desire.

Still, any more of these slips and my days on Gamespot may be numbered. With that in mind, I make the following statement; I have confessed and repented of my sinful e-ways, and from now on shall try to be a good netizen. *Punches child, takes their balloon* Well, I'll try to try...

(Best read aloud in a dull baritone)

So, I'm sitting in this cafe, my beverage a battleground between coffee beans and sugar, both vying to become the dominant flavour (the latter is winning). Dull muzak seeps drearily out of the sound-systems, but my mind, evidently on random playlist, is thudding with the sounds of Tom Waits singing about goin' out west without a shirt, accompanied only by steel guitar and what appears to be the mother of all wobbleboards. Dimly, I wonder how close Rolf Harris' ties with blues music are.

The atmosphere is gloomy, fatalistic even. Everybody sips from their cups idly and stare at the walls, as if trying to decode some alien message of doom. This prompts me to run through various apocalyptic futures presented in fiction (some paradoxically now in the past eg. The Stand), settling eventually on the one presented in Neon Genesis Evangelion (I recently rewatched the series. I'm inspired; a rudimentary set of lyrics begins to coalesce: 'Questions whose answers we sorely lack/Was Pen-Pen really high on crack?/And what/What the hell/What the hell is a Sea of Dirac?' Substituting for the instruments, I break out into an air gutar solo, complete with gurning, posturing and attempted high notes. The crowd stare at me as if I'm some new and interesting breed of terrorist. Chastened, I hunch over and finish my drink in silence.

(And you though this story would go somewhere. Muahahahaha!)