ben... i just wanted to tell you i love you and that nothing will ever change that... even if you think there are things that can change that, there isnt. i love you and thats that, nothing will ever change it. the only and i mean only change will be that i get closer to you but idk if i can be any closer to you, idk if theres such a thing. but who knows only time will tell :) i love you baby

~~~~~~~

my friend john and his family arent doing too well.. they lost everything last night when their house caught on fire, including adam, john's 11 year old brother.... please pray for them and hope that they'll all be ok...

hey kinda bored so i figured id tell everyone hi. :P

so yeah, hi everyone :D:D:D *waves at you*

ben, are we still penguins???

i hope what i did works... i really really do. i hate seeing people heartbroken, especially my friends. i tried giving tim advice and tried to tell him a few things that may help him understand abbie.. i really hope it works, cuz if not, its really going to suck cuz then poor abbie's gonna be hurt forever and have all that bottled up inside. i know its a sucky feeling and i would do anything to help her feel better. hey, i'd even spend an hour finding all sorts of different types of candy and ice cream to put on a blog just to make her laugh for a few seconds... i dont want her to feel so hurt, thats all. i know i have to let her go if she wants to leave but i just have to say, i hate knowing she's so hurt. i still send love :D :P and huggies and... uhh.... damn someone name something she really likes.. idk, teddy bears? ok, i'll put a teddy up.... :P

or a kitty, awww :D

isnt she adorable, you'd just wanna hug her right? :D:D:D:D see, more way of sending love :D

ok ok, heres a teddy

:P sending love :D :D :D (cuz i'm just cute like that :D)

nooo!!!! abbie please dont go, what do we do without you, please stay :cry: abbie, please, dont leave, dont let it get to you too much... we all love u and are here for you. and if anyone isnt here for you then they are big idiots (ben do not get offended i am not referring to you, youre a different story) anyway.... like i was saying.. abbie, please stay, you have support from others here. i dont even know the full story as to what happened and i dont want you to go through the struggle of telling me, you dont need to, i know enough to be here for you, please stay, dont go for good, please, you're a great person, an awesome friend and you have a great family thats on here too and they can give you support on here as well. you have a huge family on here.. all your friends.. friends are like family in a way. and if they are really good friends they will stick up for you when you're hurt and not put you down. since i dont know everything i wont be taking sides in what happened, but since you're a girl (no offense boys) its easier for me to understand how u feel cuz well... i am a girl too :P but yeah, please stay.... even if you only come on once in a while, just dont go for good, we all love you here we really do, you're a awesome person, even if you act crazy sometimes, but hey, we're human, we cant help but be silly right? :P

i have few things to help try to bring your mood up.

they're funny huh? :P
edit~~ i hope that if you see this that it doesn't hurt you. i just want you to know i send love and support and i am here for you.. you're a great person, remember that and if any time you need some help, advice, or just a spportive friend to talk to, i am here for you. i may not be much older than you or have much more experience but sometimes i can talk like i am an adult with the amount of experience in life that adults have, hey, i know i'm not always going to give enough but i am letting you know i am here for you if you need a friend to open up to or anything. i would love for you to stay, just like many others but if you need the time and space for a little while, you have the right to say so and go for a little while if you really need to. just remember i' here for you, your sisters are here for you, and i'm sure all your other friends on here are here for you. i send lots of love and support and please try to take it easy abbie.

between ben being grounded (thanks to me) and him being ratted out i feel horrible. i know i dont make anything better :( its just a really crappy feeling. also my sissy hasnt been on for a few days and i miss her already.. i kinda need a girl to talk to once in a while, and shes usually who i turn to... shes family to me, i dont know where i would be without her... my life has been so different since i met her.. and when it comes to ben.. dont even get me started, you'll get a story outta me from that one.. to sum it up, first of all, i was against relationships.. i was against guys about 95%. it was crazy. now at least i can trust some guys as friends. like brandon.. but he and i have been friends since the 6th grade (i so saved him from like.. 10 bullies :P) and then theres ryon, him and i have known eachother for a while but now we're good friends... i gave myself the chance to get to know him. i probably never would of done that if i never got together with ben, he has taught me a lot and he doesnt even know it. (now he does if he's read this, which he probably will eventually) ben has changed a lot ion my life, he really has... i have learned to cope with how guys act sometimes, they can go to extremes just like girls can. i knew that but now i know how to cope with it. for me, because of issues in my past, i never thought i'd trust another guy again. it seriously scared me when i realized i was in love. it was a scary thought for me. it wasnt that "i think i am flling in love with you" happy kind of moment. it was a "oh my gosh i am in love and i dont know how to react to it" moment... it was creepy for me. i faced it and i am where i am now... hopefully it will go somwhere.. i really hope it will i dont want my entire life to be a dream rather than a reality.

and now.. for a few others i would like to thank.... (you'd be surprised whos on this list)[putting usernames not actual names]

sparklefarkle~~ your blogs just always put a smile on my face, and it always brightens my day to go to your blogs..i feel like my spitirs are lifted a little. :P

RCS_Sportz~~ you've been a great friend. i know we havent spoken much recently but i remember from back b4 this place was completely blocked from my computer, you were one of my closest friends here :)

VGFreak8~~ you are another awesome friend, the first i got in touch with other than ben and vanessa(cuz i talk to them a lot and they know everything somehow lol) after i had the issue with tv.com and the other sites being blocked. it was great to know i was remembered over here :D

sweet_jane~~ you're amazingly sweet, i cant get enough of you and your family. you're my reminder that there is no such thing as loving and caring for someone too much :)

sweet_abbie~~ you... idk when it comes to you.. you're funny, wacky, sweet crazy.. you're just my kinda girl... :P maybe its cuz of ur family, idk, but i've always loved u :P

_Storm_Cloud_~~ we became friends really quick, i first remember seeing you on vanessa's blogs, but we never really spoke much. i'm happy i got to know you though, you are really cool. (and u and abbie are still a really cute couple :D)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now.. for my top friends list.. IN ORDER (this will have a few names :P)

1. Ben

2. Vanessa

3. Angel

4. Abbie

5. Tim

6. Jane

7. VGFreak8/ RCS_sprtz (cant decided lol)

all of my friends on here are awesome and for those of you on my top, you guys have done the most for me. thanks all of you for being so great to me!

ugh this is so annoying, my level is all messed up. oh well i am here to talk to people for the most part so yeah :P at least i still got u guys! :):):):):):) i love being here i really do, i think its suck a good way to meet other people on here (omg, how am i talking i am not 20-something i am 16.)

ok so yeah i wanted to sound cute and say stuffsies.... i couldnt help it. ben loves it when i am cute so why not. speaking of ben, i havent spoken to him in hours, i wonder where he is.. ugh he better not be in trouble again :( grrr what am i ever going to do with him?

it sucks... i am so depressive right now and its for numerous reasons, ben may know all of the reasons and vanessa knows the majority of them. some are personal, some are about home and some are about myspace issues.. ugh... :( i feel so icky and i gotta get ready for bed in a little while... figured i'd drop in for a few b4 i go to bed. so.. yeah, idk what i'm gonna do hopefully tomorrow will take some of this stress off of me.

i have a new favorite saying.. at least, it is for now, my favorite sayings change often :P

your worst fears lie within

but sometimes i like to say my longer version of it

your worst fears lie deep within the inner boundaries of your soul

i know it dont make much sense but i think you all can see what the point is i am trying to make, it is nearly self explanatory.

so yeah, thats just about it... other than the fact i've been a bit of an emo weirdo for the last few days.. oh thats gone just oh so well :| (major use of sarcasm there)

~~~~~~~~

ben and nessy----

ok, so i am going to see if one of these days i can get some new pics of me on myspace. i think i am going to see if my mom will either let me use her camera or just take a few good pics of me and put them in the computer so i can put them on myspace but my mom has been retarded about the computer lately so idk how well that is going to work right now :|:roll: i swear she can be so dumb sometimes :P its kinda funny when i think about it cuz she was with acomputer genius for years but she never really learned anything :lol:

ok so i have become addicted to smores again but also scared to make them again cuz the only graham crackers we have are the cinnamon ones and they burn in the mircrowave.. :( so yeah.. that just plain out sucked :(

and yeah.. umm.. SLINGO!!!!! gosh i love that game!!! slingo.com is awesome, i have been trying to convince ben to make an account on there but idk if hes going to. there is some educational stuff too, seriously there is :P but yeah i'm addicted to slingo again

my levels seem to be back on track :D i hope everyone elses are too :D:D:D:D well, yeah, my movietome level has gone up bigtime, i'm on level 9 :D and on my friendlystephie, i am on 11 :D:D:D i've been spending lotsa time on that one. but yeah, um.... yeah...

ok so i have a new random word... its "kitty" how interesting, huh? :P and on abbies blog i made a new word.. its doodlecaboodle :lol: arent i strange? :P aww you guys know you love me even though i'm insanely weird half the time :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

well, a lot of u know about my buddy sam at school... the one i tried out for basketball with back in september and october... yeah, her :P well, i swear, her boyfriend freakin hates me!!! i told her today at school at the end of the day.. "i swear your little lover boy over there hates me" :lol: she's like "topic for tomorrow kiddo" :P shes so funny