As i think back through everything i've been thorugh , i noticed that not one time has there been an extreme situation that was out of my control. i never been punished the way a masochist would punish and i have never been given an extreme consequene for my actions. For example, when i stole $100 bucks from my foster mom, she called DYFS but i was never taken away by them. she kept me for another 6 yrs. then there was the time that i tried to kill myself 3 times but i never got sent to a " crazy house" for it. when i got jumped by a bunch of bloodz, i never got stabbed, shot, or beat down violently to near death! there's something greater than me thats protecting me from sure death or cruel punishment. And since i'm wiccan, i believe that the goddess is protecting me and has been protecting me for for she knows how long. what is so special about me? why is it that when i get into a real dangerous situation, i come out with hardly a scratch on me?! One time i was leaving summer school and this guy wanted to fight me and he had some brass knuckles in his pocket and i was really scared cause some of his friends were telling me to run but i didn't and i just stood there. he asked me where was i going and I lied and told him that i have to go to the doctor because i had tuberculosis! ever since that day, he never botherd me again and when i would see him he would just say "what's up?" what greater or lesser purpose am i a part of? who needs me to live in this lonely and dangerous world for what ever reason?
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